Social Media: The Twitter Divorce.

Today was meant to be my article on divorce. I feel pretty down today as the Twitter gossip mill still hatefully churns in my absence so instead I'll spoon feed this link. It's a pretty cool article by Amanda Fortini.

The Facebook Divorce

Social Media: Gossip Girls, The Peep Culture

It starts young. Six year olds whispering about who is boyfriend and girlfriend, who likes who and guess who was in the tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G. Unfortunately getting older doesn't add sophistication just levels of animosity and hate. That girl is up herself, that guy moved on awful fast, he shouldn't see her, they are having sex, did you hear about what she did to those other guys...... Gossip is prevalent and not going anywhere.

In 2006, Twitter enters the online market with a simple idea, to broadcast SMS style messages to an audience. A harmless idea in 2006, largely baulked at by peers, has grown into an international success with over 100 million subscribers. The world stepped into the peep culture.

Peep culture is best described by Hal Niedzviecki in The Peep Diaries,

We have entered the age of "peep culture": a tell-all, show-all, know-all digital phenomenon that is dramatically altering notions of privacy, individuality, security, and even humanity. Peep culture is reality TV, YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, over-the-counter spy gear, blogs, chat rooms, amateur porn, surveillance technology, Dr. Phil, Borat, cell phone photos of your drunk friend making out with her ex-boyfriend, and more. In the age of peep, core values and rights we once took for granted are rapidly being renegotiated, often without our even noticing.

So what does it really mean to us? Gossip, on a large scale and generally through people with no real knowledge of the person they are gossiping about is dangerous. Gossip passes so quickly, any ounce of truth is passed off for the muddy story, the lies and deceit. In an online environment, where relationships are formed and lost so passionately and quickly, friendship is a tradable commodity.

So who can you trust? The answer is everybody but it comes with conditions. To survive in a Twitter world you have to accept everybody at face value. If you really like someone but hear they have been talking about you behind your back, consider the source. File the information under gossip and move on. It's likely to be a concoction or a muddle of chinese whispers regurgitated by someone who really doesn't like you.

What happens if I find out exactly who has been lying and gossiping about me? Block and remove them. It wont stop them gossiping about you but it will remove some of their ability to spy and twist your innocent tweets. The simple act of blocking someone carries a lot of power in the Twitter world, I'm always surprised by just how many people get upset by an un-follow.

Online Gossip has been most damaging to me personally over the last few months. It has caused fights that have lasted days between my ex and I and it has hurt people close to me. If we don't remove its power it will destroy all our real world relationship leaving us with...... Twitter.

Continue to check back as I spend the week analysing the peep culture before removing myself from the party.

Social Media: The First Hit is Free

Some moments stand out in the memory. The first kiss with someone new, the birth of a child, the day a musician died, our life is full of memories most important to us. Two days that cant be forgotten for some are the day they signed up to Facebook and the day they let Twitter into their lives.

I rejected Facebook at first. Finally, under almost crushing weight from friends and old school mates I joined Facebook in late 2007 as a way to connect with school friends before my ten year high school reunion. Almost instantly I began filling my time with games of rock, paper, scissors and Battleship with people I haven't seen in almost ten years. The social media addiction had begun and the first hit was free!

November 2008 my partner was away at The Edge of the Web, a conference held in Perth by The Australian Web Industry Association. I cant recall how I noticed but my partner, along with most of the conference, had started using Twitter as a way of passing notes in class. Seeing a way of being able to communicate with her while she sat in a lecture, I signed up to Twitter and joined in the conversation.

Over the next two years my involvement with Twitter grew. Eventually I met avatars in real life, became involved in the lives of strangers and found dates. After an accident which left me without work, Twitter replaced the relationships I had lost with colleagues and friends from work. After separating with my partner, Twitter became company at night when the house was quiet. I started checking Twitter every 5 minutes during the household chores and even tweet while driving. Twitter had crossed over and replaced real life.

Recently, as a result of separation from my partner of 10 years and a connection with the lives of the avatars, Twitter has become the dumping ground for hear-say, lies and gossip. Unfortunately the human condition promotes embellished stories and chinese whispers. Truth gets pushed aside for a better story and sympathy regardless who those lies may hurt. The need to win support from those who happily gossip and fuel the lies for their own amusement becomes justification to make the lies bigger. The result becomes a lawyers dream where the truth is buried deep down under the pile of defamation.

My ex has been a great friend and mother to our kids for almost half my life. I've always wanted to love and support her the best I can. I feel no anger towards her and wish her all the happiness in the world. I'm excited for her and the adventures she will have in the future. I have always considered her unique and beautiful with a drive that will bring her the world.

During this week I will try to delve deeper into the peep culture before finally removing myself from the party. Leaving the party while its still in full force can't stop the gossip but I hope it can dull the conversation.